YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Drunk is not a location!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
