Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
