I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
