Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
