There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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