I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
