Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
