so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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