I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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