Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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