dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
