She said her name was "party"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
