and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
