We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
