dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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