you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
