Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
