oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
