Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I am morally bankrupt
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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