I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
