I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you traded sex for a burrito?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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