Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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