I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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