how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
