DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
