and you said cock pushups were impossible
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
