Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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