people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
