is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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