Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
