Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
