so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
