so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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