So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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