i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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