Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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