i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
