i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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