My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
