I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
