well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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