Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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