she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
