I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
