I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
