is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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