Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
