How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
