i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
