your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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