got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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